Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
