The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
