Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
