How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
