ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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