So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
why do cheetos always look like penises
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
