Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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