You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
