You work out of a Hotel?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
