im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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