they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
whose ass print is on the piano?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
