What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
