I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
