but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
