help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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