I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
