im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
