When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
