it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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