She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
