I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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