Your dad touched me again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
