i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize