dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Mom said you looked used
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
