I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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