Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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