ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize