she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
