Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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