He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
