Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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