He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Help. Why am I so naked?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize