That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
