If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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