My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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