white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
