babies were throwing up all over the place
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
