Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
