GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
