Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
