I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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