Even the bartender felt bad for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
