Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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