Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
