wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
