How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
