We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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