so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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