The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
