We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
