i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
