when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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