I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
