Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
