going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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