How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
