I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
