I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
