Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
