...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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