just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
