How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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