Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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