i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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