She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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