suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
